Orgasms For Women During Lovemaking
You’ve heard of the Coital Alignment Technique (CAT for short). That’s why you’re here. Trying to understand it, I guess.
Have you tried it yet? The fact is, the CAT takes patience and plenty of practice. And a degree of new thinking.
The thing is, a lot of us learned about sex from porn. Well, certainly anyone who was a teenager when the Internet was born probably learned something about sex from watching porn.
And of course, one of the images that you see over and over again in porn is the man thrusting in and out like a piston.
So start by getting rid of the idea of thrusting hard till you come, without thinking about her pleasure. (In fairness, thrusting to orgasm is a pretty good representation of what a man instinctively wants to do when he enters a woman!)
To enjoy the coital alignment technique, the object of which is for both partners to enjoy an orgasm during sex, you’ll have to learn some new tricks.
And this might just do your relationship a lot of good, because women’s #1 complaint is that they are left without an orgasm during intercourse.
Down the page, we set out the steps of the coital alignment technique – or CAT for short.
But don’t follow the steps of the technique without first changing your attitude. You gotta get rid of your assumption that intercourse means in out, in out, in out, in out, in out, inoutinoutinoutinout ……I’M GOING TO COME! ARRGHHHH!
The man’s rush to orgasm is NOT what the coital alignment technique is all about. No! Indeed not!
Sex should be about satisfaction and fulfilment. And nothing is more pleasing than to reach orgasm while making love – for both the man and the woman!
So try the CAT. In doing so you’ll be pleasuring your partner in a way that she really appreciates. It’s not even like this is a feminine approach to sex; it’s just a different approach to sex – and it’s just as satisfying to the man.
How Alignment Works
You’re going to enjoy small, subtle movements. You will have full body contact. You’re going to focus on the clitoris.
And you’re going to repeat small movements in a way that you might if you were masturbating a woman: that is to say, you’re going to repeat the same movements rhythmically until she comes. All being well.
Sure, there are many other ways to make a woman come, that’s a fact. The coital alignment technique is just one approach to orgasm during intercourse.
(Instructions that follow adapted from Em and Lo.)
Start in the basic missionary position
Get into the basic missionary position, with the woman lying on her back with her legs outside the man’s. He’ll lie with his legs very close together inside hers.
He raises himself on his arms to ensure that penetration is easy, but once inside her, he’s not gong to start the old in-out-in-out; instead he’s going to move, and change his position.
So here we go. At this point he basically forgets the old rule: a gentleman should always take his weight on his arms.
Instead, using the coital alignment technique, he cups her shoulders with his arms under her armpits. That means he’s actually resting some of his weight on her body, and giving her a sense of pressure and full body contact. He is taking some of his weight on his arms, though. The CAT isn’t about being uncomfortable.
In other words, the two pelvises are on top of each other – which is where the phrase “coital alignment” comes from. You won’t have forgotten, I guess, that his legs are lying close together and that they’re outstretched behind him, nor that his partner is going to rest her ankles on his calves.
(Or she can simply leave them lying straight, on the bed, just outside his legs.) And the usual instruction at this point is that when the couple are in this position, his head is just to one side of her face.
Here’s a great video which explains the coital alignment technique.
I guess you might be struck by the obvious fact that if the couple are very different in height that actually won’t be possible. So remember: align the pelvises. (The “alignment” in this technique means aligning your pelvis with your partner’s.)
It may also have occurred to you that while the head of the man’s penis will still be in her vagina, it’s possible that some of the penile shaft will be outside of her vagina, and that shaft may even be pressing on the top part of her vulva. True. And, as if this might all be too much for you, the final instruction in Step 2 is to stay relaxed.
Step 3 in the coital alignment technique
OK, so the man is pushing up along her body, and at the same time the woman is going to tilt her pelvis away from him, which is to say down into the bed, so that his penis is going to come almost all the way out: if it’s done correctly she should feel the base of the penis pressing against her clitoris.
But this is a small movement, and needs to be limited so that the man’s penis does not fully pop out of the vagina.
And now the man pushes down with his pelvis, which means that his whole body is going to shift downwards in relation to hers, and his penis is going to enter her fully at the same time as she tilts her hips upwards, which will have the effect of enclosing his penis in her vagina.
The man is still lying on his partner, and just to reiterate the point, with some of his weight on his forearms, but with full body contact. The couple’s legs are still as straight as possible.
The reason is that the coital alignment technique requires her to keep her upper thighs and knees rather closer together than has become expected in the missionary position (at least, if you expect her to lie there with her legs wide apart and her vulva displayed like a flower).
One expert says that between step 3 and step 4 the difference in position of his pelvis is only about 4 inches. That means that in step 3, the man’s pelvis is directly above the woman’s, whereas in step 4 it’s about 4 inches lower down her body, and closer to the bed, tipped at an angle and between her legs.
You’re going to repeat whats really a hip rocking movement over and over again. Effectively, as the man moves up, the woman tilts her pelvis down. As the woman tilts her pelvis up, he moves down.
So what you’re trying to do is maintain constant stimulation of the area between her pubic bone and her vaginal mouth, using his penile shaft, his pubic bone and the weight of his body to stimulate that area on the woman.
Apparently, when you do it right, and you’ve got the rhythm going, the sensations you get with the coital alignment technique are so completely different to normal intercourse that you move into a wonderful world of erotic sensation.
And, if you want yet more variation, it is possible to enjoy the coital alignment technique with the woman on top; if you fancy trying that, here’s a link.